Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…

1.Who do want to be most like in life:
A.Vanna White
B.Michelle Fiefer
C.Britney Spears
E.None of the Above

2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A.Run when you see the seeker
B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C.Run when the seeker sees you
E.Follow the seeker quietly

3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A.You loose alot of weight
B.Gain weight
C.Get really smart
D.Loose your memory

4.How do you kill a bird:
A.Hit it
B.Throw it off a building
C.Cook it
D.All of the above

5.Whats an important question about pregnancy
A.Is it mine
B.How far along am I
C.Is it a boy or girl
D.What hospital should I go to for delivery

Dont read them this part:

Results:
1.
A=5pts.
B=3pts.
C=2pts.
D=1pt.

2.
A=4
B=5
C=2
D=3

3.
A=4
B=3
C=5
D=1

4.
A=3
B=5
C=4
D=1

5.
A=5
B=1
C=3
D=2

TOTAL:
20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders. The blonde then replies Thats a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?

A blonde walked up to a man and said, “Give me your wallet.” The man said, “Okay, but give me the gun.”The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.The blonde said, “Youre an idiot — theres no bullets in the gun.” The man replied, “Youre the idiot — theres no money in the wallet.”

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the no haggle attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, Maybe Ill just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!

The shopkeeper said, By all means, be my guest. Maybe youll luck out and catch yourself a big one! Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, Damn it, this one isnt wearing any shoes either!

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?

A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Q: Whats the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?

A: Lipstick.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?

A: Because red means Stop, wrong hole.

Q: Why dont blondes use vibrators?

A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?

A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?

A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: Why dont blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?

A: Cause their balls show!

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?

A: Remove their underwear.

Q: Whats the mating call of the blonde?

A: Im *sooo* drunk!

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?

A: (Screaming) I said: Im drunk!

Q: Whats the mating call of the brunette?

A: All the blondes have gone home!

Q: Whats a brunettes mating call ?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?

Q: Whats the mating call of the redhead?

A: Next!

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST — Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)

A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What is 74 to a blonde?

A: 69 plus G.S.T.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: Tits go in front.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that wont give in?

A: Have another beer.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

———————————

Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50

Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50

Hand Job $10.00

———————————

Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.

He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

Yes? she inquires with a knowing smile, can I help you?

I was wondering, whispers the man, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?

Yes, she purrs, indeed I am!

The man replies Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!

There were 11 women hanging onto a rope that was hanging down a cliff. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should let go because if they didn’t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette thought to herself “I’ll let go.”

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would let go, all of the blondes started clapping.

A blonde called her brunette friend and said, “Ive been working on this puzzle for weeks, and I cant get it. ” The brunette went over to see what was wrong, and she told the blonde, “Put the cornflakes away….”