Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that its electrified.

Q: How many members of the royal family does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Actually none. As your queen I would like to reassure the people of the commonwealth that while our family may have had our Annus Horribilis and while some of us may have screwed in the stables or in the mud, none of us, to my knowledge, have actually screwed in a lightbulb.

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Leos dont change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agents get a Virgo in to do it for them while theyre out.

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Hmmm… I ran a simulation and got 0.9999999997 pentium designers…

Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Note: topical to the Falkland Islands war.

Ten-one to do it and nine to document it.

Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They assign the task to a gastarbeiter.

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether its lightbulb or light bulb … another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is lamp
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
5 people to hotlink to pictures of lightbulbs hosted on geocities
6 people to complain about dead images
3 people to tell them to right click the image and copy the URL into another window
13 to read all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers, images and signatures, and add I agree
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say didnt we go through this already a short time ago?
13 to say do a search on light bulbs befor

Q: How many televangelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: None. They screw in hotel rooms.

Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A1: One – she holds the lightbulb in the socket, stands still and lets the world revolve around her.

A2: 1,000 – One to do it and 999 to say *I* could have done it *better*…

A3: Two – One to do it, and one to push the ladder out from under her.

A4: Three. One to do it, her understudy, and one to say she could have done it better.