Q: How many comp.sys.intel readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 0.999999875

None, at least until we get some corroborating witnesses.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four. One to design the change, one to implement it, one to document it, and one to maintain it afterwards.

Q. Whats the difference between an aerobics instructor and a well mannered professional torturer?

A. The torturer would apologize first.



Q. Why did the aerobics instructor cross the road?

A. Someone on the other side could still walk.



Q. What do aerobics instructors and people who make bacon have in common?

A. They both tear hams into shreds.



Q. How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four!…Three!…Two!…One!



Q. An ethical lawyer, an honest politician, and a merciful aerobics instructor all fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?

A. It doesnt matter – none of them exist.



Q. What do you call an aerobics instructor who doesnt cause pain and agony?

A. Unemployed.



Q. Whats the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Let the police do it – private citizens cant be trusted with light bulbs !

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?

Five, and you shouldve seen the light bulb! It must have been thiiiiis big.

Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (Kemp) Its morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].

Q: How many Pet Shop Boys does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to sit around looking bored.

Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isnt defective.

Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair.