Q: How many believable, competent, just right for the job presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Its going to be a dark 4 years, isnt it?

Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Oh, just one. But this bulb wont do. You want to use a 3-way bulb, but if you can afford it, I hear that next month GE will be coming out ….

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? None because shes to busy screwing her cousin! Isnt that funny!

Last but not least I would like to say to the makers of this sight that you are the dumbest bunch of SOBs that I have ever seen. You must have blacks on your mind everyday day and night to do a whole website of them. Maybe if you would stop thinking of them so much and think about the fact that your Sister is really your aunt then maybe you wouldnt spend as much time thinking about blacks. Also I am sick tired of hearing you all tell us to go back to Africa, well if thats the case why dont you go back to England because you stole this land from the Indians. Oh and the next time you want to call a black a nigger why dont you consider the fact that a nigger is an ignorant person and I guess that includes you to.

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, if it knows its own Goedel number.

Note: I thought this was something to do with the maths/logic theories of Kurt Goedel, about it being impossible to prove things, and finally a more complete explanation arrived in my mailbox : – A Goedel Number is one of several ways to encode a Turing Machine, the classical abstraction of a computer, or for that matter of any algorithm. The idea (as best I see it) is that if the machine knows its own Goedel Number it can simulate itself… It does come from the mathematician Goedel – partly because he used TMs in his famous theorem, I believe.)

Q: How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they dont get up that high.

Q: How many real programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. Real programmers prefer LEDs.

Q: How many Limbaugh-heads does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The number is irrelevant; they just stand around muttering ditto. And they dont do anything in the first place.

Q: How many KGB agents does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: One to screw it in and the other to check it for microphones.

Q: How many U.S fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No! You mean it was one of ours?!

Notes : Topical to the shooting down of two allied helicopters over Iraq.

Q: How many UNC-Pembroke students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: The whole student body, theres nothing better to do on weekends.