Ive changed all the light bulbs in my house to energy saving lightbulbs and Im still tired!

Q: How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, thats the proletariats work!

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, we contract out for things like that.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first ones knee from jerking.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to change it, and four to stand around going Huh ! I couldve done that !

QUESTION: How many church people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.

Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the light bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much better they liked the old bulb.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We chose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the light bulb. However, if you have found in your own journey that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb and present it next month at our annual l light bulb Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, five or six professors to search the Bible for authorization and then two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and some faithful women to make a casserole.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans dont believe in change.

Methodists: A whole congregation. One to change the light bulb, and the rest of the congregation to be sure that he doesnt backslide.

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to drive their home to the hardware store and one to buy the bulb and screw it in.

Q: How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb?
A: 24 hours–3 minutes to put in the bulb, the rest of the time to compile all the libraries…

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.