Q: How many rec.humor.funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. Theyre all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What lightbulb?

Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, theyre convinced that the power will come back on soon.

Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to turn on a light bulb?
A: 33 – 1 to process the instruction and 32 to process the interrupt.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Jesse Jackson) Changing the light bulb is a partial solution at best. Im more of a Lone Ranger than a light bulb changer. But even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and Silver, and the shameful fact is that the American Indians of today dont have enough silver, or gold, or even paper money to allow them to buy into the American Dream or some extra light bulbs. We must ensure that all Americans can light their homes, from the lighthouse to the White House.

How many swedes to you need to change a light bulb?

500. One to hold the light bulb, and 499 to rotate the house.

Q: How many politically correct people does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. Why should we impose our values on the lightbulb ? If it wishes to be a lightbulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality.

Q: How many Elon College students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None – thats what maids are for.

How many recovering alcoholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but it takes twelve steps to finish the job, and even then, they just take it one day at a time.

Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.