Poze din categoria ‘Lightbulb’ Category

Q: How many Stanford

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Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

Q: How many cats

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Q: How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
A: You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and youll have all the light you need.

Q: How many undertakers

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Q: How many undertakers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just paint them black and go on using them.

Q: How many Douglas

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Q: How many Douglas Wilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I dont know, he cant decide if he is going to screw a lightbulb in or not!

Q: How many Mensans

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Q: How many Mensans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 66. Eleven philosophers to ponder whether it is possible to actually do anything; ten semanticists to debate the various possible meanings of each phrase, word, and syllable; nine columnists to write about it from radically different viewpoints; eight letter writers to respond vehemently with opposing points of view; seven Quibblers who delight in pointing out others mistakes (what is said is not as important as saying it correctly); six conservatives who believe things should stay the way they are; five liberals who believe that action should be taken immediately to form a committee to study possible actions; four ornery SOBs who disagree on principal with anything anyone else has suggested; three peacemakers who believe its more important to work it out without showing any more emotions than necessary to get it done; two statisticians who maintain that numbers are more important than facts; and one pragmatist to ignore the bureaucratic piles of paperwork and replace the bad bulb with a good one. Whilst all this is going on, all the Mensans are keeping count in their heads just to make absolutely sure what it really does add up to 66.

Q: How many cabbage

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Q: How many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The question is irrelevant since you couldnt find the dolls even if you knew how many.

Note: Topical to 1983 and the difficulty of obtaining cabbage patch dolls

Q: How many members

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Q: How many members of Take That does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They cant sing, they cant dance so what makes you think they can change a lightbulb?

Q: How many members

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Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he cant see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

Q: How many A

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Q: How many A & R men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. Were not changing any lightbulbs at the moment.

Q: How many Macintosh

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Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off ?

Note: On the Macintosh, certain types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.